That Ruslan Daughter

2011-11-25T04:58:00.000-08:00

The relentless circle homo sapiens go through.

-R

2011-10-29T19:04:00.000-07:00

There could have been no two hearts so open, no tastes so similar, no feelings so in unison, no countenances so beloved. Now they were as strangers; nay, worse than strangers, for they could never become acquainted. It was perpetual estrangement.

-R

2011-10-10T07:36:00.000-07:00

-R

2011-10-10T07:16:00.000-07:00

It's as if blogging was once "in trend" and now, no longer.

I mean, no hate towards micro-blogging and reblogging, I myself fell victim into the hands of these evil, obsessive machines that take hours and hours of your day and often times distract you from (paying) jobs. But, seriously, I miss blogging, I miss reading everyone else's blogs. I miss people having an opinion on something rather than suppressing our thoughts under 140 words and pictures taken by someone else, that's been recirculating for the dozenth time.

Well, I am a hypocrite.

I blog once a month. But I'm consistently on twitter and I use tumblr to post pictures. I have nothing to write about, I have nothing to voice and nothing I've done, eaten, worn, seen is blog-worthy.

SO I PROPOSE we bring blogs back in fashion.

-R

2011-09-18T07:39:00.000-07:00

You know why I haven't been updating much of late?

It's because I didn't wanna bore whoever reading my sordid blog, with a sordid story about what I did, or ate, or thought of, or felt.

You know what?

Screw that.

It's my blog. It's my name. I don't care anymore. Everyone else can form their own opinion, prior or post meeting me. The only opinion that matters is my mother's.

Form your opinions, make your assumptions, disregard all my previous attempts to display whatever semblance of respect that you should offer me. And, while you're at it, spread your opinions to other people.

I strive to be the person I am today, and if that doesn't sit well with you, then... well, take it up some place else. I may not be in the best of places for a 19 year old, but I'm getting there. I'm going through an internship at one of the most notable firms in Malaysia and juggling a part time job, I'm so sorry if I'm not the loveliest human being around. I can't blame anyone else if they're not a Stepford wife on speed, you have so much things to be present for, so many things to attempt, so many things on your mind.

So, yeah. I'm done putting on a show. Like I'm a put together human being. I was failing miserably before, but now I'm not even gonna try.

Hokay.

-R

2011-08-16T13:33:00.000-07:00

It's 4.33am and I've just spent most of today, and all of yesterday in front of a desk, figuring out the correct angular calculations using the Bowditch's method. I'm tired. My mind is blocked, but yet here I am.

Hidup ini palat, tapi esok masih ada.

-R

2011-07-24T08:06:00.000-07:00

Here's the thing about the phrase "never again".

When I was in New Delhi, my brother and I were introduced to an amazing restaurant called "Karim's" in the center of Old Delhi, the most chaotic part of the city. As soon as our auto-rickshaw arrived within a 2km radius of Old Delhi, our breathing slows down as the air gets thicker, more condense. The people are pushy, literally. A chaotic frenzy rushes into your system, making you feel 100 times more alert of your surroundings than you normally are. And what more with everyone reminding you to have your valuables really close. With the thousands of tangles of powerlines a few feet above your head, all you can wonder is "why the hell isn't something on fire?"

The food at Karim's? Delicious. The smell of the exact kind of masala still to this day remains in my head. The remnants of butter chicken in our plates, the exact kind of roti we had, the clay pots used to cook the food. Everything still in my memory, still well-intact.

But Amirul and I made a deal to "never again" step foot into Old Delhi. Never again. Everything was too overwhelming for us newbies. I made a point to write in my bible of a guidebook that we should "NEVER AGAIN" (underlined, highlighted) go into Old Delhi.

After several days, numerous train rides, enough frowners as tour guides, the Taj Mahal!, Incredible Jaipur, so many auto-rickshaws, enough expensive entrance fees, two Jantar Mantars, amazing views, five dozen and a half memories, a memory card full of breathtaking pictures, we were back in Delhi.

And what did we do first? We headed back to Karim's.

Why? Because "never again" should never hold someone back.

(And somehow, I feel that you should never be a never again case.)

-R

2011-07-24T04:16:00.000-07:00

I am happy.

I have come to the realization that people think I'm manic depressive, after seeing all (three of) my blogs and my twitter.

No, children. I'm not upset ALL THE TIME as you all may think. In fact, I'm actually a really happy person. I have no idea why the internet wants to portray me as someone who appears at the brink of suicidal. Seriooously, I'm far from that. I actually have a slight sense of humour. Yes, believe it.

(Yes, I am listening to Frank Sinatra's "My Way" as I'm writing this)

-R

2011-07-20T13:56:00.001-07:00

There I stood, a woman apart.
But he never came over.
And I'm still standing.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2011-07-17T06:59:00.000-07:00

I think kan, it's about time I do something about my braces.

Other than the fact that it is severely damaging my outlook on myself, I think it's come to the point that most people think I'm twelve years old. (And also, the sole reason to why I am consistently friend-zoned on every single occasion. I'm in denial, i think). Last week, a random American tried to guess my age and jengjengjeng, he guessed that I was 24. I honestly had no idea if this was a compliment or an insult, so I punched him on his forearm with enough force to make him know that I tickled with joy (or the exact opposite), and not enough, to show that I'm being friendly, and this is how Malaysians are when they're friendly.

Did I tell you I'm looking for a company to do my internship at?

My search is ultimately fruitless as of now. Been trekking through phone interviews, one on ones and five dozen and a half emails.

LUCK IS ALL I HAVE FOR YOU.

-R

2011-06-16T21:26:00.000-07:00

Recently, I've been going through a, well, to put it lightly, an 'identity crisis'. I don't know who I am, I don't know what the hell I want to do with my life. And, I don't know if I've made any sort of dent into anyone else's life this past 20 years.

This is pretty deep stuff, come to think of it.

I have had this mindset, these past three years, that my future involves me going into Architecture with full force. With me being successful in the field. With me, designing a newly-wed's first house, where they're able to raise a family in.

But sadly, things, most of the time, never go as planned.

I am a sad case of a 3rd year architecture student. Yes, I said it. It took me a while to say it, even though the thought has been lingering in my mind since my first year. I don't want to say it, but I can't help but think that if I keep up being in denial, I will end living a severely miserable life.

I am miserably pragmatic, I've always thought. My head gets in the way of my heart. I'm too busy thinking of what will come of it, before I actually do it. This is sometimes an advantage. Being overly future-oriented. Career minded. But, obviously, sometimes I do get my ass bitten. Well-seen in social skills. Ensuring a spot in the "will-she-ever-get-a-boyfriend?" category.

Many have told me that I should consider pursuing a career related to travelling. Something that has to do with me flying around the world and telling the world about it. Like an Asian Ian Wright or BackpackingMatt. I did consider this. My slight attempt for now is by starting up a travel blog, which I doubt gets much attention due to the fact that I'm... on a travelling hiatus (architorture). But, it's a start. I do want to spend my life travelling. Spend my life feeling unnerved. Always having my feet itch.

So, for now, I've decided to graduate, get my qualifications, get a job, take a year off, travel, travel, travel, further my studies, travel, travel, and well, travel.

Til then?

-R

2011-06-07T09:15:00.000-07:00

This is a dog.

I have this odd romantic side to me that barely ever makes an appearance. The romantic side that only seems to want to listen to Katherine McPhee in a duet with Zachary Levi.

Deep under all this, I'm a sappy romantic teenager. Who wants to meet the supposed love of my life. And to ride off into the supposed sunset.

But then, the pragmatic side of me fills in and goes into a snarky debate about how I shouldn't depend on one person. How my independence should rank higher than this need to be in a comfortable relationship with someone (preferably one, of the opposite sex).

Then, my pessimistic side comes out and gives the general low down. About how, of course my independence should have a placing, and yeah, I should once in a while think about matters of the heart, but then... everything will end and/or leave me anyway. So why should I care so much about all this? We'll all die anyway.

And now, I'm just sitting in my laptop with sketches to be prepared for crit tomorrow, having a resistant debate with myself. And my objective side kicks in. And tells me to sleep it off and see what I want to do tomorrow.

I hope it involves a chunky kit kat and cornetto mcflurry.

-R

2011-05-14T09:28:00.000-07:00

I wish I knew what to say, I wish I knew the exact words to say to build this hypothetical bridge to cross over to the other side.

But no. It doesn't work that way.

Words don't come easily to me. I fumble while writing, while talking, even when I read. It could be because my self esteem has been severely affected this past year, but I can't put the blame on that.

I don't know where this post is going.

Gah.

-R

2011-05-09T10:22:00.000-07:00

Water Palace, Jaipur, Rajasthan.

India, I'll be back for more soon.

-R

2011-04-15T09:52:00.001-07:00

I wish I knew how to not be emotionally alone. I've come to the stage of realization; that I've adapted to being almost robot-like when it comes to dealing with emotions. I've been so alone for so long with all my thoughts dwindling inside of me that I've gotten over the whole concept of being "lonely". There's such a difference between those two words; alone and lonely.

I'm not lonely. I'm alone, and I'm well-able to manage it.

//edit: Though, I do miss those midnight pangs of a social life.

-R

2011-03-28T03:43:00.000-07:00

I hate drama. I especially hate girl drama. I try my best to tiptoe away from all that nonsense because I find it completely unnecessary. Yes, admittedly I do not know how face confrontations and deal with problems head on because of this. And yes, it led to the fact that I'm quite socially inept. Quite, being a very flexible word today.

Working at Backhome, well actually, working in general has made me realize a lot of things. People go on and on about meeting other people from different walks of life through travelling. For me, without any travelling whatsoever (yet), my job has made me see so many different people. Some privileged, some not at all. These people I've met has made me realize that every single damn thing I've spent my life fretting on is completely trivial.

We are so wrapped up in our own lives with completely useless "problems" when there are people out there who strive to even survive. And the incredible thing is, THEY DON'T COMPLAIN. They acknowledge their predicament and they work on making it better. Where else, the people I know and myself included complain about the slightest things not going our way, about not getting things, about random fuckery that shouldn't be a homosapien's main priority.

So yeah, I don't like drama. And I'm trying my hardest to cleanse myself of it because I think if I don't, I'll curl up and shrivel back into the person that I was before. So now, I'm drama free. And I like it that way.

But I'm still not that nice of a person to be around :O

-R

2011-03-26T09:32:00.001-07:00

Before Earth Hour:

During Earth Hour:

This was taken in the dark. I semi-swear.

Wayy after Earth Hour:

-R

2011-03-23T21:36:00.000-07:00

Oh, you. That mythical you.

-R

2011-03-23T20:54:00.000-07:00

I spent the whole of last night downloading music by the bulk. Prior to my emotional (or lack of) transformation, I actually took the time to remember songs worth remembering. To download and have in my ears for later purposes. Now, all I do is youtube songs. The lazy ass that I am.

Yesterday, I cleared out my entire iTunes from songs I never listen to, songs with wrong titles, songs I downloaded for no apparent reason. It was my version of detoxing. I can't be bothered to attempt a physical approach of detoxing, so instead I detox my music playlist. I also managed to clear the videos in my iPhone. Now, the best Michael Westen takes over nearly 2GB worth of my phone's space, with Moulin Rouge, How To Alienate People and Lose Friends (story of my life, brah) and Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince.

I've asked a few people this question, now it's my turn to answer:

What's the current theme song of your life?

Well, I have an entire playlist for now (actually labelled "Current Theme Song"):

1) Thinking About You- Norah Jones

2) Fake Palindromes- Andrew Bird

3) If I Fell- The Beatles

4) Thank You- Dido

5) Home- Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros

6) Baby I'm a Fool- Melody Gardot

7) L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N- Noah & The Whale

-R

2011-03-22T00:14:00.001-07:00

Lady Gaga presents:

:O devour.

-R

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2011-03-20T20:26:00.000-07:00

LauraGeorge's Etsy

Living life on auto-pilot is not as easy as it seems. Or, is it too easy, with no such challenges. I haven't thought it through enough to properly come up with a conclusion. But all I know for sure, is that it seriously without a doubt... sucks. Everything is a routine, whether tedious or not.

So, today. On my first day off in quite a while, I'll be spending it without a care in the world. As 'auto-pilot' as I may be, I might as well live today (and maybe tomorrow) without prior planning. Today, I will do things according to my own time. If at 2.08pm, I feel like downloading songs I have been aching to listen to, I will. If I feel like watching Easy A for the second time, I will. If I feel like going out and stroking my rabbit, I will.

I have this crazy trait. I am a soft-core workaholic. I can't sit still, I have to always be worried about something. I have to always have something on my mind, something unfinished.

For now, I'm reading the gorgeous Dianna Agron's blog, and I'm contemplating what to spend this month's salary on.

I might even blog after all that's done.

-R

2011-03-18T06:48:00.001-07:00

The topic of conversation today.

I find the idea of letter writing completely and devastatingly beautiful. A soon-to-be-twenty sentimental sap of a person, I am. I'm willing to spend on stamps and envelopes because I find it to be romantic. Strange. I'm not a romantic person. I don't like PDA, holding hands and all those four letter words. But letters are just as romantic as trains, in my head.

So, if anyone's been following my recent tweets, I've said a few times that I've been writing postcards and sending out letters. I have, and it's liberating. And getting one back is also a great, great feeling.

I can't say I write the best letters because most of the time I tend to scribble rather than write actual words. But, the concept of letter writing has simply dissolved over the years. Thats terrible, because getting post on a horrible day just makes everything better, I can promise you that.

Let's all bring letter writing back from the dead. Seeing that everything old is now adjusting to the modern world being labelled as "vintage" or "old-school". Why not bring it back, right?

p.s. Thank you, Zayaana for such an awesome letter that without a doubt was the highlight of my day:)

-R

2011-03-17T08:02:00.001-07:00

The massive disaster that hit Japan is something that should leave us with a reminder. Never take things for granted. So many things have happened in the span of one week. I can't at all even the slightest bit imagine what the people there are feeling. All we can hope for is bluer skies in the coming days.

Japan, everyone I know has your back.

-R

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2011-03-16T06:36:00.001-07:00

Que sera, sera.

Whatever will be, will be.

-R

2011-03-13T09:45:00.001-07:00

My week in a nutshell:

-R

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2011-03-09T08:16:00.000-08:00

I've been going through a complete daze of either spending 12 hours in college or work for the past two weeks. My eye bags are back to becoming as dark as ever, it's almost as if I'm part panda now.

-R

2011-03-03T21:30:00.001-08:00

What have I been up to this past week?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2011-03-03T11:07:00.001-08:00

HELLO EVERYONE!

I HAVE OFFICIALLY MADE A TRAVEL BLOG THAT IS OFFICIALLY UP AND RUNNING AS OF 3RD MARCH 2011. FEAST YOUR EYES ON:

roslynrucksack.blogspot.com

If all goes well, and this blog receives even an ounce of traffic, I'll might buy a .com and make it www.roslynrucksack.com. But that's thinking far ahead, I know. This blog will be frequently updated with pre and post travels. Slowly but surely, I hope that this blog develops into one that not only helps those with the same interest, but also is a sure outlet for my passion.

Pictures posted aren't exactly clear, as they're mostly from my iPhone. Buying a personal camera is in the works---

---There I go again, over-planning.

So... visit my site and tell me what you think! Also, it would be massively appreciated, if you retweet my blogs URL. Really really appreciate the kind gesture.

p.s. If you're interested to guest write, email me.

-R

2011-03-03T09:36:00.001-08:00

Hi kids!
Blogging from the phooone.

-R

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2011-03-01T06:18:00.000-08:00

The Contents of My Bag: College Edition

Sketch book (3/4 full), iPhone 3Gs, Coin purse from Vietnam (Courtesy of Zayaana Shazlene), Scale rule, Basic colours from Prisma Colours Collection, Michael Westen Aviators, Set square, Scientific calculator, Inhaler, Dental rubber bands, Carmax, Burt's Bee's lipbalm (Acai berry), Oreo box with Silly Bands, Black leather pouch with basic make up and toiletries.

-R

2011-02-27T02:49:00.000-08:00

I've been writing to you a lot, blog. You're the friend I need when I feel so obscure to the world.

I thought it through a long time ago, in fact. I didn't want to be the kind of person who watches her life pass her by. I can't be the kind of person who slides into personal mediocrity, who accepts being average.

Okay, let's look externally. I'm rather plain looking. I look like the kind of person that is not picked out in a sea of 19 year olds. I have accepted this fact, and I try to tend to the physical issues. I try to watch my weight, I try to look better (see previous post). Not very well succeeding, sadly. But I do, honest to god, try.

So, to compensate for my failure in that category, I work on the internal side of me. Okay, lies. I don't exactly "work" on it. I think my mind knows that I subconsciously don't feel good about my looks, so it automatically tries to fix the internal side. I don't know if I am "fixed". I don't know if my personality is any sort "appealing". All I know is that my insides are tended to like a well-kept garden.

My insides tell me to start blogging again. Who am I to disagree?

It might be the remedy to my eternal dilemma.

-R

2011-02-26T20:28:00.000-08:00

Okay, I'll admit it. I'm not the most girly girl there is. In fact, my knowledge of skin care products are limited to (erm) water and moisturizer. A whole lot of lotion though, as I have the worst kind of dry skin. The kind that flakes in bad weather, and with Malaysia, it's always bad weather.

Yesterday, I went to KLCC after work to meet up with a friend who I've known since practically birth. Okay, that's an exaggeration. I've known her since my first year studying. Okay, another exaggeration. First year in big girl school. Which is primary school, in my books.

She's wonderfully sweet, as always. With luscious, amazingly well maintained jet black hair that ended near to her waistline. Always with a tint of make up that makes it look so natural since she's so fair skinned to begin with.

And there I was, from work. Looking like someone who just got off work. I wore my white shirt and tights (so so typical of me) with my black high tops. My hair looking as flat as a rat's ass. And my eyebags, looking like I haven't slept in weeks (when in truth, I slept 10 hours the night before).

We caught up with Chai Latte and Mocha at Coffee Bean, it was great. Smooth conversation as always. Walked around a bit while I looked for something pricey to splurge on, which never works out, seeing that I rarely ever 'splurge'. Then, we headed to Watson's, with her desires of getting a bit of make up and my desire to get candy. Sigh, night and day.

She subtly suggested I start wearing make up. This to me, is usual. I hear this a lot, from my mother to my lecturers to my friends to random strangers who pass me on the street. I always look pale. My lips are always paler than my skin tone, which gives the illusion of being sick. Interesting twist; my immune system is bloody amazing. I don't get sick *knock on wood*. Oh, then I casually took out my eye liner, headed to a mirror, and started to line my eyes to make myself look the tiniest bit presentable.

Okay, here's the thing. I hate mirrors at drugstores. The lighting is just right to let you see every single flaw there is on your face. That's a smart sales tactic. I am hereby named a victim to this tactic. That's because, as soon as I saw my reflection, I went amok.

This can't be me.

So, I headed to every single make up counter to look for some kind of concealer that'll make me look like a 19 year old gir---woman, instead of a 45 year old transvestite on the brink of menopause who is slowly turning into a zombie. I tried everything the sales girl had to pitch on my wrist. I looked at every single face mask there is. I skimmed through every single product that 'guaranteed thicker hair immediately'.

I left Watson's with RM100 less and with a bag of 'guarantees'.

I am a victim of that stupid sales tactic.

-R

2011-02-25T05:56:00.000-08:00

Creepy, creepy picture of Amirul peeking at the bottom end of the photo.

A few minutes ago, I said that I was going to bed. Alright, I lied. I don't feel like mustering the energy to turn off the laptop, change to pajamas, grab my pillow and duvet, find a warm spot on the couch, yell/call Amirul to come and turn the light off, and slowly drift into a very light sleep that can be ruined with the tiniest change of sound (i.e. water dripping).

I have been cursed to become a light sleeper ever since Architorture developed my insomnia during the second sem. It completely ruined my wonderful sleeping habits of sleeping at 4am and waking up at 11am. Okay, lies. I never wake up past 8.00am.

My line of work (Backhome KL) has made me fascinated with postcards. Guests past me postcards for me to, well, post on their behalf. And on occasion, when I'm feeling all sneaky and twisted, I read them. Never out loud, of course. But to myself, in my mind. It's nice to see people squeeze in their questions, feelings, suggestions, plans onto a 8X15 piece of card. Zayaana Shazlene has been sending me postcards, and she picks out the best ones to send, and I have them all in a wonderful box stuffed with confetti.

If you are ever blessed with time, send me a postcard. Oh, email me first for my address: roslynruslanr@yahoo.com.

Someone once told me that I lived life on autopilot. And, eventhough I was extremely taken aback to this horrendous comment, I have to admit, I do. I live life on autopilot. Ever since that life changing conversation, I've kept that fact in mind. Maybe that is an extra push (or sign) for me to nurture my desire to travel and see the world. And save money to do just that.

So, the moral of this post is:

1) Avoid living life on autopilot.

2) Amirul looks like a creeper.

Thats it.

Oh, and SEND ME A POSTCARD.

Massive erection for you,

-R

2011-02-25T05:43:00.000-08:00

Good morning, good evening and good night. Here's a picture of me to keep you people interested (as usual).

Okay, I think that's as far as I can blog. One entry per 3 weeks deal, remember? My jokes are too retarded (how politically incorrect of me) and far too unnecessary to bother typing out. And I have the morning shift at work tomorrow.

Oh, since I have a few moments to spare. Here's a little nugget of a fun fact for you! (You were the one who came to my blog, now face the consequences).

1) I hate peanut butter. To be specific, I hate Reese's Pieces. I don't mind crunchy peanut butter with jelly on toast though. But in general, I hate peanut butter.

2) My favourite number is 1,563. This might come in useful if you ever decide to rob me.

3) I adore Yann Martel. Boo to those who do not know him.

Three nuggets. Lucky day.

(I should stop all this crap)

Goodnight.

oh,

-R

2011-02-09T06:21:00.000-08:00

I really like the curry puffs at Esso. How it melts in your mouth as soon as your lips touch its crispy shell. How the curry is the perfect balance of salty and spicy, with a full boiled egg to top off its tender, beautiful, perfectly consistent taste.

I am easily pleased, I know.

-R

2011-02-07T04:46:00.000-08:00

Hey.

Here's a picture so you guys will stay a tiny bit longer.

Something meaningful to get you to stay.

My blog posts lately macam tunggang-langgang. Nothing seems to be cohesive, nothing's consistent. It's as if I'm a prostitute with goals that I intend to keep. Not a high end $10,000 a night prostitute, instead the ones that walk around Masjid Jamek at 3pm, looking for tail.

Also, I have come to realize that my sister has better profile pictures than I do. Mana aci betul.

follow me on twitter la babi: http://twitter.com/roslynruslan

-R

2011-01-31T01:26:00.000-08:00

I update my tumblr far often than I update my blogspot. Come, visit me in my lair of terrible shot photography and misinterpreted quotes.

-R

2011-01-31T01:23:00.000-08:00

Everything we do is a choice. Oatmeal or cereal, highways or side streets, kiss her or keep her. We make choices and we live with the consequences. If someone gets hurt along the way, we ask for forgiveness. It's the best anyone can do.

-Pushing Daisies.

2011-01-30T06:37:00.000-08:00

Hi, everyone who gave up on this blog.

I want us to be emotionally linked. To be tight. But for some reason, I can't manage enough to open my laptop (it hasn't been opened in weeks) to write something that'll create such a relationship.

I want to leave.

-R

2011-01-23T18:04:00.000-08:00

Hi.

I'm turning 20 this year. That's pretty old in my books. Its just a number, I know. And yeah, some people tell me I don't know how to enjoy my adolescent years, that I've skipped right past it and into my professional life. I wouldn't use the word mature, because if I did, it's like holding your bladder in. It's uncomfortable to call myself "mature". And also, because I'm not.

I was manually cleaning up my phone of texts, pics and unnecessary baggage just now and I realize one major thing in my life. In the erm "relationship-with-the-opposite-sex" section. It's either I'm really bad at being a girl (because every single guy treats me like a friend) or I'm seen to be a crap girlfriend or I'm highly unattractive.

I'm sorry. I think I'm like this because of watching The Bachelorette. I hope that I will never have to go through that. To resort to the media to find me someone. But, on the other hand, I don't have the looks to carry it off anyway. And Ali, is so beautiful it's orgasmic. I bet a lot of male viewers model their future wives to be exactly like her. I would.

I'm not saying that I'm looking for a relationship like that. I'm saying that honestly, it would be such a self esteem boost if I knew that someone I had feelings for, reciprocated. AND for the past few years after high school, I haven't exactly had genuine feelings for anyone. Maybe it's because nothing ever develops. When I want it to develop, an external factor comes in and cuts it off.

Erm. Okay. I guess I'll shut up now.

-R

2011-01-10T05:20:00.000-08:00

Hullo. You know what? I was looking through past blog posts and it's pretty clear that I have terrible grammar. My mother, who is the worst grammar nazi on the face of this planet (but not that great of a speller), should never stalk me. Never.

I bring shame to The Ruslans.

I was cleaning my book shelf when I came upon my shiiit awesome scrapbook that I started when I was 16 and never finished (I will, when I am blessed creativity. And sadly, I am not). Serrrioooously, this scrapbook crazy bat shit awesome. Extremely lame and somewhat egocentric but honestly, it's a scrapbook about MYSELF, how else should it be?

Ohh, and there's this pocket in the last page, for me to make a time capsule of the things I love. Looking through it, I found all my letters. Well, not all. Just from 4 years back. The letters I write to myself for my birthdays. I can't emphasize on how sentimental and somewhat icky I am when it comes to letter writing, but I do it. And I keep them hidden. And I read them. On my birthdays. And sometimes, I cry. Not those sickening tears of joy. Instead, they're real tears. Real feminine tears. Like the ones you get when you realize that men suck and being with women is the better choice.

Roslyn's letters. To herself. Yes.

Hrm. I don't think a Roslyn-might-be-lesbian reference would be appropriate at a time like this.

And no, I am not attracted to ladies. Well, some yes. But I am a

ll for men. Men, boys. Potato, potato. Yes, all for them.

As you can see, I'm a wee bit hyper. Maybe it's because I just finished my 2nd last paper. And I'm about to step in the realm of sleeping early, waking up late, having breakfast at 2pm vortex.

Soo, in conclusion, I am extremeeeely sentimental. I keep everything from the tissue I cried in when my rabbit passed to receipts of any event worthy of a place in the box. Yes, I also have a box. If you ever come to my house, I'll show it to you. Actually, I have several boxes. Letters, receipts, pictures, used tissue paper, scribbles. Everything. I am a hoarder. Please don't ever marry me, because I will not move in with fancy knick knacks that I got free from a wedding. Instead, I'll move in with unnecessary junk (beautifully organized, but nonetheless unnecessary). Oh how I hate knick knacks. I hate things that collect dust. I am asthmatic you see.

Oh and I collect everything Audrey Hepburn. And postcards. And travel books. And coffee table books. And artwork from itsy bitsy kids. And Soleil bottles from LaRisata. I used to do a lot of glass painting. I'm hoping that one day it'll come in handy when I use these bottles for... the centerpieces on my wedding day.

Lolololololololol.

Yes, this is a picture of me accepting an award.

MUCH LOVE,

-R

2011-01-09T19:13:00.000-08:00

It's 2011, and I have a paper in 3 hours. So here's a very shallow post before I read more essays.

I want to start wearing dresses again. I realize that my course took away a lot from me. It made me more serious, I only seem to do the right thing, never the fun thing and I never seem to dress up anymore. So, I'm gonna start wearing dresses again.

I was never a supposed fashion forward person, I just wore whatever that I thought made me look good (most of the time I fail miserably). For the past year, my wardrobe has been reduced to long tights or jeans with random tops. And a lot of 3 quarters. I went to the dentist recently for my braces check up and he said that if I consistently wear my elastics everrryyyday, I might be able to take my braces off in 4 months. HELL YEH. So I have 4 months to get my body in to shape, to do something about the limp rat I call "hair", and to attempt to dress up more often.

Yeay.

-R

2011-01-02T23:32:00.000-08:00

I want to spend the rest of 2011 with Norah Jones in my ear.

And, I'm so sorry, I couldn't publish my New Year's post. It was far too exaggerated and unnecessary. Not a way to start 2011. Like I said, I want to spend it with Norah Jones whispering in my left ear, telling me to come away with her.

Here's to another year of... being a life. Alhamdulillah.

-R

2010-12-30T20:54:00.000-08:00

Gahhh, I can't believe I wasted half of my New Years Eve. I haven't slept in in months, whyy today?

2010 deserves a blogpost. Just like every other year.

-R

2010-12-28T05:00:00.000-08:00

2011 :)

2010-12-16T13:25:00.000-08:00

1. State the design problem assigned.

2. Discuss the values of the design problem.

3. Describe the design process and ideas.

4. State the unifying concept with a simple diagram.

5. Present and describe the drawing/presentation board.

6. Perform a modest and confident self critique.

Arigato, Abdul Rahim:)

-R

2010-12-15T12:24:00.001-08:00

SUCH IS LIFE

please stop all this nonsense.

-R

2010-12-12T02:10:00.000-08:00

Hai kawan.

Yes, over the past year I've become a more boring person. No, it's not your fault. Yes, I kinda like being boring. Solemn. Opposite of fun.

I'm sorry. Part and parcel of having a university course suck out my entire personality out with the long hours. Yes, I blame you. You're bloody fault. My jokes are no longer funny because of you! And etc.

Oh, on another note, I've been spending so much. I should stop my unnecessary spending on unnecessary things (tops, stationery, food, etc) soon, if not I will not have the sufficient funds to go to India/Brighton next year. Yes, that would be very very saddening if my plans do not go through as expected, just because I bought one to many tops. That's almost sickening.

My dad will be back from The States in a bit. EXCITING NEWS.

I feel like driving to McD and getting myself a chocolate milkshake. And maybe nuggets on the side (if not a Big Mac). Soon enough, I'll be one of those kids in Teen Fat Camp.

Oh, look at the time.

-R

2010-12-11T06:00:00.000-08:00

Hello. A lot of updates today.

I just watched an amazing documentary on The History Channel about the Highland Towers disaster. It struck me, pretty hard. I live within a 500 meter radius of the site. The documentary explained with great details everything that happened on on 11th December 1993. I was 2 years old. Throughout my 19 years of life, I've been through (of course, not directly) two devastating incidents where a building or many buildings collapsed. And lives lost.

48 people lost their lives. A few weeks ago, I went to the towers with Chun Fei and it stood there, with so much history behind it. It's been standing there, abandoned for the past17 years, reminding all of us about what happened.

Watching the documentary had such an effect on me maybe because for the past 2 years I've been studying the structure of a building. Or maybe I'm affected because I live, so near from where it happened, that the thought of it is still raw in many people's minds.

This well made documentary has and should evoke the constant reminder to never, never ever let history repeat itself.

48 people.

-R

2010-12-10T18:06:00.000-08:00

I've been meaning to publish this for a while. Got it off Arda's blog. Yes, I'm back to posting surveys on my blog. Ahahhaha, in attempt to revive it.

Are you moody?

Now, yes.

Are you depressed?

Oh nuuus. That shipped has sailed a semester back. So I'm definitely not that.

Are you afraid of swine flu?

Very much so.

Are you afraid to be yourself?

Sometimes. But, most of the time, I am myself. But no one is really themselves, so. Yes. Er.

What would you label yourself?

Err Architortured.

Do you live with your parents?

Most of the time, if I'm not in college.

How many siblings do you have?

Do you wear skinny jeans?

Not as often as I hope. Since I'm terrible at getting the right size. But yes, I do.

Are you emo?

Apasal soalan kau bodoh -_-.

Are you aware that all emo kids look the same?

Oh.

Are you a hater?

Ahahaha, nawh. I'm far from that.

Are you an anti-racist?

I go to a Chinese college. My favourite country is India. And I grew up in a Caucasian country. I may not be an extreme anti-racist. But, I am definitely, not racist.

Explain your personality in 3 words.

Sentimental. Pragmatic. Over-Analyzer.

What do you wish your name was?

Ahahaha. Never wished for another name other than Roslyn Ruslan.

How old do you want to be when you get married?

30.

What do you want to name your kids?

Ilham.

What kind of hairstyle do you want?

I feel like cutting my hair short into a bob, but I love my curls too much. I don't think I'd be happy to part ways with them.

The last time you brushed your teeth?

Semalam. I just woke up :(

What are you wearing right now?

Random college tee and jogging shorts.

What do you wear to bed?

I sleep in the nude. Nom nom nom ;)

What colour is your underwear?

Pink, with a blue smurf in the middle.

Am I getting too personal?

Nawh, it's alright.

Do you read literature?

My choice of books are usually literature or classics. At the risk of sounding like a complete douche, I'm not gonna quote my favourite play by Shakespeare. Which is Macbeth. Douche.

Do you love horror movies?

Only with the right crowd.

What are your favourite ones?

Err I don't like it enough to have favourites.

Do you like comedies?

Only with the right crowd.

Are you a smoker?

Nope.

Do you smoke cigars/cigarillos?

Nope.

Do you have anger problems?

Seeing how cynical I am, surprisingly, no.

Do you know someone with a mental illness?

Yep.

Have you had someone close to you die of cancer?

Yes, a few.

What do you wanna be next Halloween?

Slutty nurse?

What grade are you in?

Erm second year in Diploma in Architecture.

When do you graduate?

2012.

Do you talk to yourself?

Yes. Sometimes, exclusively. I put aside 30 minutes everyday to ask myself how i'm doing.

What colour are your toenails?

Erm skin colour?

Has anyone ever told you you have a nice smile?

Not with these bad boys in them. But, a few have. Praise the lord!

Nice eyes?

Ahahahah, I don't remember.

Ever broken a bone?

Alhamdullilah, never.

Nose bleed?

All the time.

Ever been so mad that you cried?

Once or twice.

What's your favourite quote?

"We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will" -Chuck Palahniuk.

Are you listening to anything right now?

Grenade - Bruno Mars. Ahahahhaa, don't judge me for being a complete saaaap!

What are you addicted to?

Caesar salad at Coffee Bean (extra salmon)

Do you like silver hair?

Some people can definitely pull it off. Me, not so much.

Would you ever fight a famous boxer?

All the bloody time.

Could you take kimbo slice?

I'm more fit that you think. YES, I CAN TAKE KIMBO SLICE.

Can you even fist fight?

Tak nak caya sudah, dolah.

Do you get creeped out by puppets?

I get creeped out by clowns, who are the puppet masters. So, maybe not so much when it comes to puppets.

If you could be any celebrity for a day, who would you be?

Shayne Dahl Lama, of Leave it To The Lamas. She so kick ass.

Do you have any phobias?

Dark

Water

Clowns
Elevator

Swimming pool logos.

Sharks, I can even see them on TV.

Ever been mauled by a wild animal?

ABBY.

Do you think you could be a suicide girl?

Is that the band? If it is, hell yeh, I can imagine myself as a bassist.

What about a playboy bunni?

Ahahhaha, I don't want to give my friends nightmares.

Are you an insomniac?

Only on weekdays :D

Are these questions pointless?

Very much so. I am just far too bored to care.

Favourite colour?

Blue. Because I'm afraid of water.

Pce out?

-R

2010-12-10T17:54:00.000-08:00

I gave you what I had,

And you tossed it in the trash.

I know I'll spend the rest of my life regretting this since everyone else is in the same situation. And if I do find a way to go through with this, it would be completely idiotic. But, for now, I'm in love...

... with Bruno Mars.

I had a pretty long conversation with my (who I just realized) oldest friend. He reminded me of what I'm doing with my life, where I'm headed. A decade can pull us apart, but conversation is nothing but smooth. I love that. And, he promised me that 2011 would be amazing. If that did happen, I would grab the first flight to New Zealand and give you the biggest hug. Or, high five. I'm still thinking about it :)

I hope I'm doing the right thing with my life. I don't think I can take knowing that I made a mistake.

-R

2010-12-07T08:00:00.000-08:00

Come on, give me something to hope for, 2011.

-R

2010-12-02T08:16:00.000-08:00

"But you'll always be my hero,

Eventhough you lost your mind."

-R

2010-12-01T07:32:00.000-08:00

Hi kids.

2009 was an amazing year. Seriously, a-ma-zing. 80% of the year was filled with things I did, not for myself, but for the impact on other people. That year propelled me into a so many great things, it would be a sin to mention one by one(in case I accidentally leave one out). There are so many great memories that I've stored just for 2009. It was, honestly, the best year of my life.

Unfortunately, 2010 hasn't been going so well. I started this year with a very cheesy resolution. Cheesy even for my standards. I told myself to start giving a shit about myself, and maybe (MAYBE) find something (read: someone).

Interestingly enough, no luck. And it's December.

So. Yeah.

-R

2010-12-01T06:36:00.000-08:00

Bulan Harry Potter menjelma.

-R

(p.s. Its kinda cool to see so many avid followers. HALU YOUU !)

2010-11-26T10:14:00.001-08:00

" … There is no one correct way to adjust or respond to another culture. Some people may become depressed over a particular encounter; others become exhilarated. Some choose to withdraw; others explode"

2010-11-25T04:37:00.000-08:00

Hello.

My mind has been overthrown by another government of late, much like when the Ottomans overthrew Turkey and took over Hagia Sophia, changing the true nature of the building from a church, to a mosque. And soon after in the early 20th century was made into a museum.

Fun fact, yes.

So, I've been keeping myself busy with work, assignments, familia time, and a lot of plans to travel. One of the best times in my life, honestly. Nothing is too difficult, almost everything is balanced. But I am busy. Time is always filled, and sometimes, I feel like I'm my own PA. (and that doesn't make sense.)

I've been researching a lot on volunteer work. UNESCO has a great site with a compilation of nearly all great international volunteer work. I don't think I have time for the next few years to take a serious gap year, but one can dream right (or maybe plan wayyy ahead). So, I've narrowed the list of amaaazing opportunities to two that I would kill to do. And those are:

1) A festival trip around 6 places in Italy

You follow around an art festival committee and you help set up, stay in backpacker hostels, and you meet artists, performers, random hippies. From the pictures and the videos, I've concluded: it's bloody amazing. I know, I'm not reducing poverty, probably doing the exact opposite. But it's an amazing opportunity. And... I'm overusing the word amazing (cos I'm so bloody excited).

2) Archaeological Expedition in Inca, Peru.

AMAAAAZZZZIIIINNGGGG. 2 week trip in Inca, digging up remnants of Aztec culture. It's bloooody amazing. I am at lost for words.

Okay, those are the overly hopeful ones. But, all in all, I just want to do another Raleigh and volunteer for something somewhere like Cambodia or India. PLEASE GIVE ME A GAP YEAR, SOMEONE.

Excitement aside, I think I'm meant for UNESCO. Maybe I'm not supposed to design super structures or even quaint buildings with horizontal timber elements and Mies Van Der Rohe influences. Oh and Rafael Moneo, as he is ultimately my most favourite architect (second to Ted Mosby). Maybe, just maybe, I'm meant to preserve gorgeous structures left over from our ancestors. Nostalgia is something that should be taken seriously. I am extremely sentimental, as a person. Maybe future, professional me, is the same.

I'll get back to you in 10 years.

-R

2010-11-07T07:25:00.000-08:00

Some people don't deserve happiness.

-R

2010-11-03T12:18:00.000-07:00

I am a realist. Maybe pragmatic would be a better word. I see things in an extremely practical point of view. Yes of course I'd love a sugarcoated lifestyle, topped with cream cheese and a cherry, but sadly, I'm not that kind of person. I've accepted it. Embrace it, young one.

It's 3.23am, and I'm having trouble with my assignment. I got home at around 2am, after sending a few relatives off for Haji.

--- Ahh shit. I'm a terrible blogger. Add me on twitter je la!

BYE

-R

2010-10-30T08:45:00.000-07:00

Hi.

I'm Roslyn. Soon to be 19. A bit of a lazy ass hell work junkie. Balding.

I'm not good at updating, but hell, I'm not good at a lot of things. To name a few:

1) Eating less

2) Being nice to people (except strangers, I'm always nice).

3) Presentation boards.

4) Riding a bicycle.

I've been immersing myself in work and college and family time. I'm rarely on facebook. I tweet a lot. Tumblr, rarely. I love my strange following of random blogwalkers (*waves at random blogwalkers*). I miss being surrounded by people, but I'll live.

Working at Backhome, and hopefully getting myself a flight ticket to Egypt. Valley of the Kings, here I come.

-R

2010-10-24T12:37:00.000-07:00

I'll be turning 19 soon. Maybe that'll be the tipping point of my year. Finally, something worth waiting for. I'm not hoping for balloons, and gifts, and streamers and fancy people dressed well with good food. I'm expecting it to be a boring day, with a lot of birthday wishes, enough to keep a smile on my face for the whole day.

Maybe I'll make a dinner. Invite people to meet up at a nice restaurant I picked myself, in hopes of one of my friends whispering to the waiters, telling them to bring out a cake for 'the birthday girl'. I can wear the dress Aween got me. I can get Ashley and Syahmi to sing to me, with Aween on webcam.

-R

2010-10-18T16:33:00.000-07:00

Edible Clouds.

I have a tumblr. That is used for vain, self loving, mostly optimistic things. I'm a reblogger, which in essence means the work I publish is far from original. It's not... my work. It's someone elses. Someone I don't know. Someone from Holland, or Australia, or (most of the time) The States.

I will not continue on doing so anymore.

My tumblr will now be pictures taken by yours truly with my trusty phone. If I do reblog, I will clearly state the source.

Why am I so rajin?

... Well, Kim Kardashian tweeted (yes, I do have a twitter, i fully utilize the interwebs) "Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. Life is about dancing in the rain". I know, so corny.

And right now, I'm under a bit of a dark cloud. I've been waiting for it to pass for quite some time but heaven knows that isn't possible until I graduate.

So... this is me, dancing in the rain.

-R

2010-10-17T15:36:00.000-07:00

Johdpur.

I woke up this morning,with only one thought ringing in my head. Being human... is exhausting. No matter who you are, what you do as a living, what you strive for on a daily basis (be it money or shelter for the night), being human is exhausting.

I remember once, when I was younger, someone (probably my mother) asked what I'd imagine myself to be if I were reincarnated into an object. With not a moments hesitation, I said "a pillow". I honestly don't know why. But for some god damn reason, to this day, I would still in a heartbeat, answer; pillow. So, so much simpler. All you do is provide horizontal comfort. Sounds far less exhausting than what a human does, on an hourly basis.

Erm. Okay. Bye :)

-R

2010-10-13T03:48:00.000-07:00

Hello random blogwalkers. I see you're all making yourself comfortable.

I've been busy with college life. Yes, t'was my decision to start properly investing a PROPER college life. Maybe I'll be able to juggle it now. Maybe I'll be a more reasonable person. Who knows?

I don't really have much to say, I guess I haven't gotten the blogging groove back yet. I'm just sick of writing about "hey, just got two new pairs of shoes" or "hey, sexy boy glanced in my direction, I'm so excited!"

Aween left for UK a few weeks back, she sent the sweetest card with a gorgeous dress through her dad. Thank you so much, Winks. I'll make sure I wear the dress on my birthday and take a lot of camwhore pictures to show you the dress on me. Seriously, I fell for the dress immediately as I got it out.

Okay. Bye.

-R

2010-10-10T16:45:00.000-07:00

Hello.

I wish I had really great pictures to show, but sadly, I have none. College has me wrapped up in a tight seaweed wrap that'll hopefully make me lose weight.

Hrm. That's it for now..?

-R

Unnerved

2010-10-04T07:01:00.000-07:00

Okay. I've decided to start blogging again.

I'm back after quite a while being away. I honestly can't think of why I did. Maybe it's because I'm bland nowadays. All that circulates my mind usually involve selfish, selfish thoughts that are only about me. What I want, what I hope to be, what I like. Through this, I've become emotionally distant. Unsure of myself. Questioning every bloody step I take.

So, yeah. 2010 hasn't been a good year. In fact, it's been a downward spiral since January 1st.

If you know me, you'd know that I've been dreaming about India for quite a while. I want a massive, long trip that has me incarcerated in a narrow train carriage for 12 hours just to see Fort Mehrangarh. To catch a glimpse of the amazing blue village I've heard so much about in Jodhpur. To see the reservoir at Abhaneri.

So yes. I've been overly romanticizing India. I've been reading Life of Pi and obsessively watching The Fall. I have been completely absorbed by Jhumpa Lahiri and Anita Desai. And many have told me that I might be caught off guard by the unbelievable culture difference. The smells, the sounds, the locals. My senses will be working in overdrive to catch up with my eyes. And the heat. Oh, the heat.

India, in my head, is the most perfect place for me to see. I want to be unnerved.

So, I'm going.

-R

Hello

2010-10-01T05:31:00.000-07:00

2010-08-11T06:03:00.000-07:00

Yeh, I told you.

-R

2010-08-10T03:40:00.000-07:00

OH YES I AM ALIVE.

I know for a fact that nobody EVER goes to my blog, seeing that the last time I blogged, it was ever so emotional, you'd want to crack an egg on it.

God knows what for.

Soon, life will be better. Life already is pretty great, actually. Never ending family dinners (as I have been home for the past 3 weeks straight), Autocadd in front of the tv, Gossip Girl catch ups and a good balance of assignments. Again, I repeat: LIFE IS GOOOD.

Architecture is and will forever be, the man of my life. I am head over heals for him, but somehow i think I haven't been showing my love for him much. I apologize. I'll up my game, I promise baby. I promise to start reading DK Ching Construction Books and carry around my Architect's Handbook everywhere I go, for reference.

My social life is depleting, and that's completely my fault. But I promise it'll be back on track during Raya. And of course during the whole of Ramadhan. So, in conclusion, my social life will be back up by... tomorrow.

Love life? AHAHAHA. Even I would cough a snort at this question. My love life has gone to the gutters long before I can even trace back with my phones calendar (and that's pretty long, seeing that my phone can trace back to my birth). Let's not try.

BYE

p.s. Hide your kids

2010-07-27T03:35:00.001-07:00

HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE.

-R

Happenstance

2010-07-27T00:19:00.000-07:00

It's been a while. I know.

I don't know what to talk about. I don't know how to string a decent sentence together without sounding like a sap. I'm 18, and right now, I've got so much on my mind. I shouldn't be like this. I've lost my self almost entirely. I don't know where I stand. And I have a strong craving for a chocolate croissant.

I hope I get my act together. I hope sooner, rather than later, I'll find out what I truly want to do with myself. My irresponsible, rather dead-beat self. Til then, I'll continue on with my incessant model making assignments, my weekend dates with my family and my once-in-a-while sushi meet ups. I'm not unhappy, of course not. I'm having the time of my life, in different ways. Not the way most 18 year olds have fun. But I do.

My sister's blossoming into a terribly witty preteen. She's funnier than I'll ever be. She gave me a Spy Kit recently, and we've been saying "hi" to each other in morse code since (four shorts, two shorts). I've been one several highly unnecessary shopping sprees, spoilt terribly by my parents. And I'm -no strings attached- happy.

Of course, lately, I've been seen as a bundle of sadness. Maybe because of the predicament I've placed myself in. I've learnt from my mistakes, and I'll continue learning. It's been tough. I'm trying to stay afloat in dangerous waters, but well... I was the one who chose to dip myself in dangerous waters. So, my bad, there.

I'm turning over a new leaf for the best. I think I'll start blogging again. Maybe that's one of the ways I kept myself going. Strange, I know. But I guess, venting out to a blog where random strangers might see is better than strangling a friend with sappy stories everytime a shitty day hits.

Strangling is the word, yes.

-R

2010-06-26T09:56:00.000-07:00

Rosevelt is looove.

-R

2010-06-25T21:04:00.000-07:00

Many people have told me that I've changed, but the truth is, I've just found myself.

-R

2010-06-08T05:34:00.000-07:00

For you babyyy.

-R

2010-06-05T01:43:00.000-07:00

I'm tired.

I found out I can do work 5 hours straight with my iPod in my ear without moving at all.

I might have carpal tunnel syndrome.

-R

My Drive

2010-05-28T03:44:00.000-07:00

My drive?

Is to make enough money to travel the world.

No freaking joke.

-R

2010-05-19T21:36:00.000-07:00

I'm swamped in work, and it's just the first week of college.

I don't expect to get any sleep this semester.

I should invest in a proper camera.

Secretly, I'm scared shitless of the workload.

The seniors got their own studio with fantastic huge tables and swivel chairs. Yes, SWIVEL.

You won't be seeing me for a while.

-R

2010-05-11T07:24:00.000-07:00

Oh hello.

-R

2010-05-07T09:17:00.001-07:00

I can't tell you how much I miss these two people.

Oxford Street one day when I can afford the flight there, right? ;)

-R

Cornered

2010-05-07T08:53:00.000-07:00

I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt anyone. Sometimes, I don't know when things are appropriate to be said or mentioned. Sometimes, I wish I had an in-built filter that'll filter all those thoughts right before the nerves send it to my mouth, turning it into words that can be perceived.

I'm cornered.

-R

2010-05-03T06:23:00.000-07:00

I miss Ashley and Aween.

-R

2010-05-01T08:23:00.000-07:00

-R

Diabetic Due To Cendol

2010-05-01T07:13:00.000-07:00

Melaka was lovely. I love acting like a god damn tourist, wish I had a fanny pack to tie the whole look together. We ogled at every god damn painting/tourist attraction/funny building/art work of any kind that passed us because we were thaaat jakun. I ate so much cendol, at one point I was about to hurl the insides of my tummy. I packed the bare minimals, which I enjoyed because RALEIGH TAUGHT ME WELL! The weather was a buzz kill because I had sweat dripping past my back every 5 minutes, so the only way to subtly get rid of it was to wipe it off on some random furniture (great success). The backpackers place we stayed in was lovelyyy. I nearly cried in delight when I saw it. Dark cherry wood with a lot of cream and lovely wallpaper touches to add to the whole chic backpackers lodge/boutique hotel.

In conclusion, melaka? is loooove.

-R

2010-04-30T08:15:00.000-07:00

Keep

Calm,

And

Have

Itchy Feet

;)

-R

2010-04-25T11:54:00.000-07:00

WANDERLUST

-noun

The strong, innate desire to rove or travel about.

;)

-R

She Could Be Me

2010-04-25T10:27:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, amidst the thousands of lotuses that circled our sampan that my family and I was on, I felt the happiest anyone could feel.

Not because I was in love. Not because of any materialistic thing I had gotten. Not because of some hopeful reminder of something in the future.

Instead it was because I was truly and thoroughly... happy.

-R

I Know Those Eyes

2010-04-23T00:02:00.000-07:00

-R

LEFTBLOCK + NIKE

2010-04-22T10:52:00.000-07:00

source: Kreshenka Jaisi's facebook.

-R

2010-04-22T10:13:00.001-07:00

OR THIS BABY. OH MY GOD.

G10's are much too bulky for travel purposes. BUT THIS BABY, GDAMN. TOP OF MY LIST.

Marry me.

-R

2010-04-22T10:03:00.000-07:00

WHAT DO I WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING?

More than ANYTHING.

-R

Hurdle Past This

2010-04-18T12:42:00.000-07:00

Alrighhhht kids. Settle down.

My last paper is less than 5 hours away, and this is me cramming. Well, cramming in my book is revising the calculations and all that. I'm taking the whole "short sem" bit for granted. I'm just holding a smoking gun right now.

So many things to do after 11am (that's when my paper ends) and none of them consist of little things. I've been spending these past few weeks a slight bit on the confused end of the boat. I'm at that stage of my life that I have no idea what I'm supposed to contribute to the world. And god, I don't know if I'm capable of reaching the minimum standards. I've been mentally stressed about how I've been lacking in certain areas as a person.

I'm a pretty crap person.

My moods have been swaying like mad. I don't know why suddenly I'm so mad at everything and the next I'm kissing my sister, thanking her for being such a great one.

I need to figure things out.

-R

2010-04-12T23:05:00.001-07:00

Gosh I want that blazer.

-R

2010-04-07T10:24:00.000-07:00

-R

Baby, I'm a fool for you.

2010-04-07T06:19:00.000-07:00

HELLO. I WAS TAGGED BY FARA. SO, ERMM, HERE GOES:

(Because it's in BM, I'll try my very hardest to write in BM. Let's hope my past BM teachers don't stumble upon my icky bloggie).

1) Siapakah anda di rumah?

Saya kekand--- (alright, i'm sorry. Funny pulak. Let's settle with rojak la).

At home, I'm the adik/kakak. Middle child syndrome memang pun. I'm the overly protective one when crossing the street, in the car and well, pretty much everywhere. And somehow, I'm still the one who cuddles under my mommy's ketiak when times get tough. Entah la. I get most of the chores because I just happen to be at home. I make the best rice. But, actually at home, it's like anywhere else; we can talk about just about anything, we're all damn close. And my siblings are my bestfriends (cues laughter from Amirul). THIS NO JOKE.

2)Siapakah anda di samping rakan?

I'm the one who doesn't drive, the one who has to have people tadah a tissue underneath my chin when I eat a Ramly Burger, I'm the spoilt one who gets people to pop my pimples, I'm the one who gives them sloppy kisses, I'm the one who comments on their facebooks because I miss them. Oh, and I steal their stuff (I'm sorry :( )

3)Lima benda yang belum di capai.

1. Haven't gotten my license.

2. Am not married.

3. Last I checked, no kids too.

4. My bathroom's not in it's best condition either.

5. Oh, and I haven't hit jackpot/durian runtuh.

4)Siapakah nama pasangan anda?

Mr Egg Noodles.

5)Ceritakan5 perkara yang anda suka tentang pasangan anda.

1. He doesn't judge.

2. He's yummyyy *winks*.

3. He never fails to satisfy me.

4. I miss him scent everytime I'm not around him.

5. He always comes with delicious dumplings whenever we meet.

6) Bilakah anda couple?

Gosh, I can't remember.

7)Apakah kenangan pahit anda bersama pasangan?

One time, he was a slight bit on the bitter side of the boat. But the next day, he made it up to me by being all warm and fuzzy.

8)Lagu tema cinta anda?

Telephone -Lady Gaga & Beyonce.

9)Apakah perubahan yang anda ingin lihat dari pasangan anda?

If possible la, stop cheating on me baby.

10) Tag 10 rakan yang lain.

Malas sungguh.

-R

2010-04-03T23:15:00.000-07:00

Nothing of me is original. I'm the combined effort of everyone I know.

-Chuck Palahniuk (Invisible Monsters)

me too.

-R

H&M

2010-03-31T20:27:00.000-07:00

The day H&M sails to our shores with their summer/garden collection is the day stop spending a cent. For I will be donned from head to toe with floral-airy cotton dresses and light washed denim shorts and jackets.

-R

TumbleTurd

2010-03-30T17:13:00.001-07:00

OH GOSH I'M A POKEMON ADDICT. WHEN I'M ALONE ALL I CAN THINK OF IS ROMANCING MY FEAROW AND TELLING MY LAPRAS HOW SHE DESERVES THE BEST. WHILE THINKING ABOUT MY FUTURE, THE ONLY THING I WANT TO TRULY BE IS A POKEMON TRAINER, WITH MY CHARMANDER BY MY SIDE. MAYBE EVEN BE BESTFRIENDS WITH LT. SURGE (BECAUSE BROCK AND MISTY ARE OVER-RATED). OH CRAP, WHO NEEDS TO GET MARRIED WHEN YOU'RE TOO BUSY TRAINING FOR THE POKEMON LEAGUE.

shit. i hate amirul for having pokemon in his iPhone :(

-R

What The World Needs Now.

2010-03-28T08:04:00.000-07:00

When people are in the illusion of Fatty Crab being over-rated, I feel like raising my right hand, readying myself for a bitch slap to whichever smart ass who questions the authority of THE Fatty Crab.

All I can go is: "Bitch, please".

Fatty Crab is the reason for my existence. Much exaggeration added, yes. But "YOU PEOPLE" don't appreciate art, at its finest. Fatty Crabs are made with complete honesty and love and every kind of joyous feeling you could ever wrap your mind around. I have such a soft spot for crabs, yet I get so ravenous when a mallet and a crusher is placed in front of me with a plate of steaming hot crabs in chili. It gives you great pleasure to crush the pincher and get silky smooth white meat, and so you'll end up showing off to everyone around you. That happened to my first crab just now, and holy cow, I kinda went overboard, showing off to my mom (who wasn't impressed, for she hit jackpot soon enough).

When you're at the restaurant itself, has bucket loads of personality. It's just like a mamak, whereby every race is seen together, enjoying the same food, making the same loud crushing noises and burping their entire body contents in unison. Everyone has equal right to create chaos, be merry and talk in whatever language they want. That's the beauty of it. It's well known that food brings people together, but there, it brings people well beyond borders.

So, I intend to be a typical Malaysian by making a shirt that states that I LOVE FATTY CRAB

p.s. Egg noodles, you're still my hubby bubby.

-R

Eve of The 27th

2010-03-27T09:29:00.000-07:00

-R

Bountiful

2010-03-25T19:09:00.000-07:00

Room bound for the day. I'm supposed to be studying, but you know me, such a rebel (sure). Am not in the mood to write in proper paragraphs, bare with me. Been waking up significantly early, so I've been reaching class on the dot for the whole week (pats my back). Been busy with proposal, which is finished (am the happiest dappiest llama). I have a strange love for the colour gray, I realize. Everything I buy, I tend to choose gray over any other colour. Maybe I'm just dull, I dunno. I've been eating apples like a bloody fruit fly. My rabbit past away yesterday. I found her. I've been a slight bit traumatized after that. I got kain for a very simple baju kurung (my life's complete yes). I had oatmeal for breakfast. Having broadband makes college life so much easier. I don't need to drag my laptop all the way to the canteen to use the stupid wireless. I can send my proposal out at 6am (yes that early). I'm actually damn hungry, but I'm not allowed to succumb to the grumbles my tummy makes. I'll be meeting my cousin and my kembar soon. Excited, my panties are doing a loopdeloop. I feel like going socks hunting. And drinking a gallon of water. I feel like peeing a lot. It gives me great pleasure you see, to go to the bathroom a lot in a day. I'm a slight bit toilet-phobic, so this is a revelation. Errm yeh, that's it.-R